Creating Change and Expecting Good Intentions

I think activism is in my genes. I know that being an activist is part of my identity. I've been an activist since I came out as a babydyke back in the mid-80's. As you were handed your dyke credentials and taught the secret dyke handshake, you were also instructed to get to work. One of my first political acts outside of voting was to write to my senator urging him to vote against Robert Bork's confirmation. I can remember being so excited to march to the state capitol about 1,000-strong to demand our rights. We decried the Bowers v Hardwick decision. We stated how we would never give up until gays and lesbians were treated equally (bisexuals and transgender people were still invisible at that point). I understand Columbus' pride parade has grown up.

My first March on Washington was back in 1987. I remember feeling absolutely giddy that for one moment in history, we were in the majority. I really cut my activism teeth with ACT-UP. I had friends who were diagnosed with HIV. I've lost some of them. So I was angry. I was angry that our government turned a blind eye to the suffering of its citizens. We took our anger to the streets in the form of civil disobedience. We cried as we walked through the AIDS Quilt memorial project. We engaged others and explained how the AIDS crisis affects them as well. And we organized to March on Washington in 1993.

I've worked with other organizations over the years but I think my proudest work is right here with Ingersoll Gender Center. No, no one paid me to say that. It is an honor to see people walk through our doors for the first time, taking those first courageous steps towards living a more authentic life. I see people rebuilding their lives after losing everything when they come out. I see people thrive.

In addition to being an activist, I have a reputation for being a hothead. I honestly have no idea why <insert tongue-in-cheek smiley here>. Sometimes I can channel my anger into constructive endeavours. But usually, my anger is unbridled and gets in the way of my activism by damaging important relationships. I can also be accused of acting before thinking and this is the point of this blog post.

Creating Change empowers grassroots organizers by providing them with skills and opportunities to further their work at home. I had a good friend in Dallas and had wanted to attend Creating Change for years. Thanks to being unemployed, having a free airline ticket and a friend who was willing to let me crash in her room, I was finally able to attend. On February 4, I attended the day-long institute for Trans Rights NOW! I heard time and again that one should "expect good intentions" when working with other people and organizations. Expect Good Intentions. What a simple concept yet one that I seem to have missed in all my years as an activist. This was never made more clear to me when I confronted my own actions in the debacle otherwise known as Ron Gold-gate.

A little background:

Ron Gold was a pillar of our community. I say "was" because his actions in this whole situation are more fitting for our enemies than those who fight for equality for everyone. I can understand the idea that identity politics holds us back. I don't necessarily agree with this notion but I am open to hearing from others. Instead, what I thought would be a learning moment became an ad hominem attack on transpeople which was carried by The Bilerico Project. Needless to say, there was an uproar that reached a fever pitch in just a few hours. Comment after comment railed against not just Mr. Gold, but against Bilerico as well. As co-founder of a big-L Liberal website, I am used to heated debate. I take part in many of those debates over a wide variety of topics. I have no problem sharing my opinion, whether that opinion is informed or not. And I believe I commented several times about just how Ron Gold & Co. can suck it. To me, the & Co = Bilerico.

So here we are at Creating Change, many of my trans friends and I, loaded for bear, ready to go make our views known at Bilerico's Tweetup. We were all ready to rip Bil Browning a new one for Ron Gold-gate. I think we were ready to see some guy with an ego bigger than the hotel we were at. We were prepared for defensiveness on his part so we could feed our self-righteous indignation about how Gay men really hate trannies and would just as soon we be divorced from the GLB part of our alphabet. We wanted WAR dammit! We wanted our pound of flesh! There was just one problem.

One of my friends told us Bil just walked in. I had no idea what he looked like because frankly, I didn't really read Bilerico until Gold's article. There was this rather mild-mannered guy who looked a little like he'd been thrown into the lion's den. I approached him and introduced myself. I told him the first responses by Bilerico about the whole Gold thing were not very good but in the end, I thought Bilerico nailed it by not only apologizing, but laying out a concrete plan of action to prevent this from happening in the future. One by one, we gathered around Bil as he respectfully listened about how the article affected our community. He said he'd learned alot about our issues and he really had no ill intent. The idea pitched to him by Ron Gold was that there would be three articles about identity politics. It was going to be No to the Notion of Transgender followed up by No to the Notion of Gay and No to the Notion of Bi.Thanks to Gold's first post, the other two were never printed because Bilerico chose not to allow space to anyone who would say such hateful things about anyone in our community. I believe the term "10-ft pole" was mentioned and it was not referring to the size of someone's penis.

Bil then talked about what was happening on his end during this controversy. There were hurt feelings on his side. He thought he'd done everything he could possibly do to make sure trans issues were adequately represented. Worse, there were threats of bodily harm which were specific enough to need investigation by law enforcement. This shamed me not because Bil wanted to elicit this response, but because I would think that we would conduct ourselves better than that. The hardest critics among us were won over by his honesty and humility. We didn't expect good intentions. But once we were assured of those good intentions, we strengthened that bridge of understanding and we all lived happily ever after. The End.

OK not really The End. What occurs to me is that when we are entering a situation where we don't have all of the facts, it is best to enter with an attitude of expecting good intentions. Not everyone is out to get us. We do have many allies amongst not just the LGB*** alphabet, but amongst many organizations outside of our Gaystream. I still believe that street activism can serve as the canary in the mineshaft who can alert other organizations to issues that need to be addressed. It is street activists who know how to organize everyone to show our strength through marches and rallies. I think street activism could be better used if those of us coming from such backgrounds would expect good intentions from the organizations who have been working within the system instead of just assuming that those "on the inside" are out of touch with everyday issues that face each and every one of us. I think organizations working within the system would do well to reach out to those working in the trenches to build a cohesive plan of applying pressure both within and without the system. Is there effective communication between the camps? Can we expect good intentions from each other? Can we offer a seat at the table for each other as we continue the movement for full equality?

As for me, I'm trying to get out of "Fight (or flight)" mode and instead acting upon the premise of expecting those good intentions from others. Oh sure, I know some people will let me down but overall, I find that living by this attitude makes me a much happier person and a much better activist.