Can We Wipe the Mustard from this Sausage?

I have been to a sausage factory in Milwaukee and watched them make my favorite German knockwurst. I have also been to Washington, DC, several times and watched Congress make laws. I’ve found that it’s best to watch Congress just before you are about to have a colonoscopy — when your digestive system is clear. 

That thought and others entered my mind last week as I watched deliberations on the Matthew Shepherd Act this week on my favorite porn channel, C-SPAN. Deliberations that included a consternating bid to ride the expansion of the national hate crimes bill out on a pork barrel fighter aircraft bill threatened with a presidential veto. Yes, the good news is that the attachment vote to the aircraft appropriations passed in the US Senate by a startling 63-28 vote. Hate Crimes legislation has already cleared the House.   But because of the threatened presidential veto against the aircraft, the passage might be in question. The White House, meanwhile, says it expects to sign the Matthew Shepherd Act into law sometime this year.

To understand how this works, you have to understand Congress as few people outside the DC beltway do.  It’s getting hot and humid in the nation’s capitol. They don’t call them Dog Day afternoons for nothing. The August recess approaches and our Congress has a lot on its supper dish. More than 50 million Americans await an opportunity to get health care, Trans folks — along with gays and lesbians — pray for an end to the reign of terror against them, and about 20 conservative Republican seek to stop the national scourge of man-animal hybrids. 

Yes, Senators Sam Brownback (R-Kans) and Mary Landrieu,(D-LA)  along with 18 other members of this distinguished body (including naughty senators David Vitter and John Ensign who apparently are seeking to expand the limitations of “family values”) believe that America might soon be over-run by sexually active centaurs, lesbian mermaids, and the like. ““This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life,” Brownback said in introducing the bill.

It is great to see that some in the outer reaches of Kansas are beginning to understand the “dignity and sacredness of human life.” Perhaps some will consider that when they hear of a human life being snuffed out because someone else believes that human hardware should run in sync with their own operating system. Brownback apparently worries more about starving North Koreans hurling nuclear weapons at centaurs roaming through Kansas.

If the man/animal hybrid bill is not enough, the pending legislation (still including the F-22 aircraft appropriation) may suffer further amendments in the coming week before its final vote.   Among those is an amendment from Alabama Senator James Sessions who wants to literally put the “kiss of death” into the legislation. Sessions, who distinguished himself playing the Republican opposition at Judiciary Committee hearings on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, wants to add the death penalty to the hate crimes legislation.   The amendment is not intended to capture Sessions vote on the bill — he will vote against it anyway. The amendment is designed to sink the hate crimes bill.

 Elections have consequences. The time has come. This is the week that America needs F-22 fighter planes flying through the skies sending a message that hate crimes against GLBT Americans should be grounded forever. It is time to call or email Senator Murray and Senator Cantwell. 

Be sure to send them a sausage.